A narc doesn’t know how to LOVE in the true sense of the work, they lack empathy and insight. When a narc says “ I love you” means “ I love the love you’re giving me, my supply “ . A narc abuses those they “ love” because of the grandiose sense of entitlement they have. They take the supply for granted, keeps them on hooks like gaslighting, love bombing, hoovering etc. they are crafted for Jekyll and Hyde game all the time, keeping their ‘ victim’ ( love object) confused, guessing, clarifying, giving explainations. A narc is potentially most dangerous if the victim is financially dependent on him. The best big catch for a narc is to get a CODEPENDENT SUPPLY
Yes! Because they believe they know best. An example: I was driving he was on passenger seat, I parking at a local parking lot. he started squabbling with the parking attendant, about the cost, and I finally gave rs 20/-. He hissed at me angrily:” you don’t meddle when I’m talking to someone. Is that clear? Let me handle things”( he doesn’t own a car or drive) they will dominate and call the shots everywhere and the more you don’t allow that the more angry they get and pull you down by demeaning you, and shredding your self esteem”
Because they are like the python! Consume full or none. The supply is seen as their ownership and their false sense of entitlement makes them rigid and non negotiable to work out a I’m ok your ok status. Relationship is all about themselves and the supply is merely an object of meeting all their needs. They are jealous and insecure to share you with anyone, including you with yourself
A narc will full time employ himself in keeping his supply in a volatile – confused- devalued- defensive state of mind !! The supply’s empathetic and emotional nature is what a narc thrives on. Triangulation will happen all the time, you’ll be put in the suspect box, gaslighted, put down by stories from the narc about how you’re nothing special and so and so is so good, unique!! They devalue you to break your self worth which will only want to ‘ try harder’ to please the narc and that’s precisely his game. If you’re still with the narc and figuring out a way to get out of the relationship try playing their game, their rules with them. Hah! They go up in a smoke !!! For eg. you drop names of your guy friends who are ‘ better than him’ ( which factually they are ) but on a serious note , just get out and get a life !!! Mirroring a narc is exhausting and unnatural for the supply.
If you’re still in a relationship with a narc, no matter what or how you try to convey you don’t care, the narc will slither a way in to ensure the opposite. They will FORCE you to care by love bombing, trauma bonding, hoovering, any ways that gets your attention in an alarming way. They are master con masters and drama kings/queens. Self harm, tantrums, threats etc are some of the ploys they use. so here it’s not your have to show you care or don’t care!!!! Care should go on neutral grounds ( neither for or against) for eg he gets into a rage and burns his forearm with cigarette butt, respond neutrally ( get ice cubes and let him self help, no drama no sympathy) chances are they will not do it again ( atleast not the cigarette butt burning thing) your neutral emotional stance works best.
If he’s your senior then just live with it. Try to spread your visibility laterally in the organization instead of answerable only to the manager. Try and have maximum written evidence of all that’s happening in the office. A narc boss can only let you live if you become his ‘supply’( read up on that) all the best
If you’re still in a relationship with a narc, no matter what or how you try to convey you don’t care, the narc will slither a way in to ensure the opposite. They will FORCE you to care by love bombing, trauma bonding, hoovering, any ways that gets your attention in an alarming way. They are master con masters and drama kings/queens. Self harm, tantrums, threats etc are some of the ploys they use. so here it’s not your have to show you care or don’t care!!!! Care should go on neutral grounds ( neither for or against) for eg he gets into a rage and burns his forearm with cigarette butt, respond neutrally ( get ice cubes and let him self help, no drama no sympathy) chances are they will not do it again ( atleast not the cigarette butt burning thing) your neutral emotional stance works best.
If he’s your senior then just live with it. Try to spread your visibility laterally in the organization instead of answerable only to the manager. Try and have maximum written evidence of all that’s happening in the office. A narc boss can only let you live if you become his ‘supply’( read up on that) all the best
Psychopaths smile but not from their eyes or soul. It’s the black eye kind of glazed smile because their dark world is spinning webs of drama deceit hurt and control-games, imagining themselves to win it all.they will smile inappropriately when not warranted because they are disconnected with reality and lack empathy. They particularly smile when the other person is in pain or agony
The previous supply will always projected as ‘ better’ to the current supply as part of devaluation strategy that narcs use. A narc will somewhat treat a supply better than others only when his supply is in plenty and too big a package to let go!!!
but the predictable pattern is the same. The supply slowly understands his games and when not ready to play it as per his rules( they are warped, skewed irrational) the narc devalues the supply and detach ( only when they have attached to another supply) devaluation is imminent for all supplies for the narc
You cannot dump a narcissistic till he/she is not ready to be dumped ( ready means he’s latched on to his new supply) after that even if you dump the narc it’s perceived as good -riddance -done and dusted. They are cold and great at deleting all memories, it’s left behind w the ex-supply
Overt narcissistic are easier to uncover than covert ones. But sure shot giveaway signs for both as to how they behave in relationship
- very sweet, giving ,accepting, open minded in the beginning ( couple months) almost like too good to be true
- they will dump work, tasks, cleaning cooking other chores on you. Will zone out of shared responsibility and expect more ( displaced entitlement)
- they will get suspicious and insecure with all your friends and family. They don’t want to share you with ANYONE or ANYTHING ( work, leisure, hobbies, your-time)
- they become aggressive disrespectful and emotionally unavailable or superfluous but demand sex and they are amazing great at it.
- no concept of savings, hard work work ethics, they expect you to pay for them.
- there will be zero care or pampering or do what you like. Everything is about themselves.
- frequent phases of silent treatment and sulking, going off , unavailable , phone not reachable
- they don’t / can’t commit to a relationship
Most narcissists don’t have the insight or depth to recognize their disorder. Deep down they hate themselves due to their lopsided life and complexes( possible addictions too). Another narcissist shows them the mirror which repels them and they on default mode don’t get along with another narcissist. However a minor twist( and very rare) is a covert narc and overt narc can be/ may be good friends even best friends because both help sustain each other, to validate their “ correct” way of life.
No! Even if a covert narcissist may shower the supply with gifts in the initial phase of hooking the fish to the bait, they will ensure their returns( sex, time, being looked after with their food, alcohol etc). A narcissist money is only for themselves which they squander away in their careless lifestyle. They only give when they are sure they will get back much more than what they give
They are living Karma’s Hell every day of their life. Their insecurities, hunting for their next supply( which is not an easy task), inability to progress professionally, no savings, addictions, fear of being alone, putting up a facade to hide their complexes, struggling to get attention, compete unhealthily, emptiness due to past supplies gone( collapsed relationships) barren spiritual support or understanding. A narcissist head is noisy chatter of Jekyll and Hyde conversations ALL THE TIME !!!!! They don’t know how to trust, what can be worse than that!!! They make up million of stories in their mind all the time and escape into different addictions to temporarily lessen the psychotic chatter inside their heads. Ask a Covid virus how’s his life??😆 does karma catch up with covid 😇
If the supply is unable to diagnose the NPD and relationship stretches more than a year or so the supply or victim also begins to show symptoms of dysfunctionalilty, mirroring some aspects of the narc. For example a narcissist is highly possessive and insecure person and mistrusts loyalty. He snoops/ stalks/ checks phones/ hacks accounts etc. a secure trusting supply may land up doing the same thing in the relationship ( telling the narc show me your phone, send me pics of who you were with etc ), which exhausts the supply because it doesn’t come naturally to a supply to be mistrusting. A narc will coerce the supply to join them in their addictions. A supply may learn to “ shout back/ abuse” because she perceives it’s ok to do so in this relationship because the narc does that all the time. earlier the better it is for the supply to diagnose the NPD and detach failing which the supply begins to self denegerate
Watch closely over a length of time and you’ll see same patterns of a narc what he has for the rest of the world and pets.
pets also are a supply and nothing more. Long term care and empathy will be absent. They like to show affection to the pet to gauge if the pet likes them or not. I know of a narc who loves dogs but scared of them too at the same time
The narc is an expert at catching your insecurities even if they are mild or tiny; they know how to enlarge it and throw it at your face when you’re most vulnerable. Triangulation comes naturally to a narc and they feel happy in gossip, confusion and Chinese whisper. They will say things the other person has never said, will deny any lies caught and ensure unrest and acrimony grows with people you and he are friends with( triangulation ) my advice don’t hate your friend it’s not her fault. Build up your confidence about how you look and be comfortable under your skin. Remember, even if you look like a goddess the narc will compare you with someone and devalue you. Don’t allow him to do that. He will take over how / what you should look like or dress, don’t allow that ! Be you !
Yes I agree!!! It’s deadlier than psychoses or addictions. First of all in mental health, Personality Disorders is one of those rotten apples, mental health professionals don’t want to pick. It’s because their prognosis ( chances of recovery ) is the worst, even worst than recovering from substance abuse; disease with no cure / recovery and sadly put aside/ under the carpet!!! In population it’s said 1–3% have NPD, my estimate is about 30–40% because narcissistic disorders are on a spectrum or continuum
Your question itself has the answer. It’s like asking who’s a bigger or smaller liar.. lie is a lie, small or big doesn’t matter. Part of narcissistic behavior also comes from apeing the other narcissist. you may be the lesser of the narcissist because a severe narcissit will never ask that about himself / herself, they lack insight and empathy
Nope !!! We all fall on the spectrum of narcissism the borderline ones who have a couple of traits can work on balancing stuff out but a NPD has pathetic prognosis. If you thinking if you’re a narcissist and if you need to change some behavior patterns then YOURE NOT A NARC!!😃 because a narc has ZERO insight or introspection
If the narc is missing since 6 months then chances are he/she has replaced you for next supply. However a narc never never completely let go of significant supplies of their past. They keep their contact numbers, find them on social media just for reference / back up/ weird gratification. Their choice of keeping communication is always open in their mind. I hope you’re not ‘waiting’ or ‘ keeping channels open’ for the sake of your life and sanity! All the best
A narc’s vendetta is highly well planned like that of a psychopath. They carefully choose who to attack and who to detach and let go. Vulnerable codependent victims are the prime target of their revenge game. Even while their relationship is on with the supply, yes they seek revenge, are jealous and vindictive. If a narc is made to apologize by their supply for any goof ups like cheating lying etc, a narc vindictive side starts emerging and then they begin gaslighting, snooping in phones or social media to “ catch you” too
One year??? That’s too much !!! They can erase everything about their discarded supply overnight, as if he/ she didn’t exist. Like a hungry animal devours his meal.. what’s there to remember when it’s eaten digested and excreted ???
if at all they recall anything it’s with the script twisted against you, you being the bad person due to which you both split up! They love playing the victim. Narc have zero insight and introspection that’s why they are on a permanent loop of supply hunting-discard.
A narc will have some traits of both but over time one can identify the difference something like an extroverted and introverted personalities with some dominant traits that determine whether narc is covert or overt
overt is parallel to extrovert or typeA personality. They are loud, mostly aggressive , super grandiose, Centre of a party, attention hungry, bold and obnoxious
covert is parallel to introvert type B personality.they are quiet, shy, pathetic social or communication skills, tantrum crocodile tears, prone to irritable bowel syndrome or other psycho somatic disorders, the sleazy snake like demeanor
A narc will push away a codependent supply and never if it’s the other way round. Also overt narcs do that more than covert because of the letters passive aggressive pendulum. A narc is a dark sadist who derives pleasure at the supply’s agony, it’s like pushing someone in waters who doesn’t know how to swim and then rescue him/her
Ohhhhh yes!!! That’s like a firework which they lit that didn’t burst!! It makes a narc unsure, foggy about their control( they are happy with evoking any kind of reaction esp negative reinforcement)and they HATE being unsure of how strong is their grip on their supply
That’s their biggest demonic fear!! Which they try to drown in alcohol and other addictions. Also their fears come true from one supply to the other so that further reinforces their fears. That’s why with the next supply they are more insecure paranoid and severe demonic avataar
We all know that all of us fall within the spectrum of narcissism, on a continuum. A narc lacks the depth and Maturity to look in depth and get the total picture of why and how they are the problem narcissist and not their supply. They over exaggerate the others fault and underplay theirs for superiority and hollow justification for their conduct. The whole point is to cling on to their make-belief bad world and how the world is out there to get them and how they have to manipulate this maze called life. They get caught in their own web and that further reinforces their warped thoughts to justify all that they are doing is to survive this wretched conniving twisted world
Start questioning
address their duality of existence where they have one set of rules for the world and another set only for themselves.
dive deeper into why did they leave their ex ( they appreciate, quote, reminiscent, think very high of them )
ask them if you had cheated and lie to them like they have done to you, would they still be with them
ask them what did they do whole day( most narcs especially the covert narc can’t hold jobs, frequently unemployed, have no money)
question their sense of entitlement, their addictions, their smothering behaviors
you may do all of above and start preparing for your devaluation and discard process, which is the end goal to your question. That you free yourself of the narc and cease to be their supply
Even a schizophrenic or psychopath has some ‘ good days ‘ and the supply will always get introspective and because they are the empaths and have a caring heart, they will question their judgements actions and thoughts which is a normal. So, inspect each ‘ good moments’ carefully. What you ‘ feel’ as a good holiday when closely inspected in minute details will show the cracks, the greys and bad taste in between the ‘ good holiday picture. For eg: drinking too much, oversleeping and missing out on activities which were planned earlier, basically doing all that the narc desires, none of them are about the other person. The supply feels the good times because it’s the supply who felt good to give, good to care, good to participate in what the narc dictates, good to be intimate because of so much love the supply had to shower on the narc. It’s loving someone that the supply misses
Narc fury is let loose, long stories of twisted tale attempting to add fiction to facts, sullen silence of contempt and seeking revenge to ‘ catch you lying’, gaslighting saying you’re lying and finally, taking first step of detaching from you the supply. The more you ‘ catch ‘ them with their games of manipulation deceit and cheating the more they detach … so go for it ! For the sake of your salvation
Looks like you had a codependent relationship with your narc. He is engaged too you said, are you engaged ? In that case some form of narcissism is visible in you too ( hoovering which means stalking him) it’s best to move on with your new life and not taking the shadows of the past with you. You will have to read up more on NPD to understand your feeling very empty like you’ve said. No I don’t feel empty because I’ve understood this sickness very well and it explains all the madness that it had!!! Like someone wrote a narc is like the shark- needs to keep moving otherwise it will drown
If he’s apologized and never repeated that mistake again over a span of time then he may not be a narc.
But narc can choose to say” sorry” as mere words to confuse the supply and manipulate to get her back. Their words don’t match up to rectified action needed after the word sorry
A narc abuse guarantees PTSD and very long time to heal and move on in life. They swallow the soul of their supply. The only way you can focus on studies is give a designated time to reading about NPD, write down, share views on online support groups to help get objective perspective of your abuse. But ensure you earmark a time slot only in your schedule so that you can switch off from it to get on with studies , you’ll be able to
the one and only way this may work upto a point if the NPD is ready motivated to get into therapy for self repairement ( whatever possible)
Buy your question is about ex with narcissistic traits, not a full blown NPD, yea then it’s possible. By setting boundaries, sticking to some rules ( go Dutch, partying once a month, meet twice a week and so on)
finally why would you want to stay friends with ex narc? What was so good about him/ her that you want it in your life? Unless you are financially dependent on him, question your codependency that’s wanting your nex as a friend.
My personal take is a supply should never try to be friends with ones nex unless it’s too early in relationship that you both figured out his narcissism and he’s ready to get help consistently
You mean someone’s emotions by their eyes ? The pupil are dialated when deep love comfort emotions, shifty no focus eyes show indecisiveness, looking down and talking shows hidden emotions and looking up and talking shows some elements of imagination and fantasy. The pupils are shrunk small when angry
Yes yes the supply is / has been drug to the narc. Being a drug itself answers the question above. Almost each day, many times in the day one imagines that the narc is not ready to give you up and is ready to “ get well”. The empath that the supply is she prays” let him get a job, get clean of his addictions, eat healthy exercise sleep and general home cleanliness, that’s all that I want him to sustain and I’ll figure out a way to keep being a part of his life, in a corner, I’ll be fine with that”
A covert and overt narcissists can make good compatible friends and yes they do take advice from each other. Here their egos don’t clash because on the face of it they both ‘ behave differently ‘ and somewhat complement each other. A narc identifies another from a mile like they identify their supply. A milder narc serves the purpose of flying monkeys
Showing off you mean frequently changing his DP and status?? A narc goes through phases and going underground happens more in covert narc they are the silent predators underplayed but it’s very short lived . They love to intrigue the people around but don’t be mistaken he’s busy with his new supply. Maybe love bombing phase where he has time for none else.
sometimes a narc does ghosting during a narc collapse where the supply discarded him before he could
A narc thrives on control and abuse, don’t allow both from anyone including your father. Build a good circle of friends, invest into such supports who help you grow Healthily, try to derive maximum from your school community ( teachers, mentors, classmates etc) focus on life goals, work hard to get your grades and take advice from teachers seniors etc about career choices. The more you focus on building your SELF the more powerless becomes a narc. Minimum or nil communication works best too
Never word doesn’t exist in narc’s dictionary. They know how to contact their exes whenever they want. The poor narc doesn’t understand that almost all of their discards or exes have moved on in life, are indifferent to narc’s existence, may choose to ignore or respond neutrally aloof cool. The world has non-narc people too
Tejas we all have some traits of narcissism and you have some insight into it is itself a proof that you are not the ‘dangerous’ kind of narc.
Read up more and more on narc recovery, jot down thoughts and behaviors that you have and how to respond normally and empathetically. Go in for therapy if need be but definitely don’t isolate or ostracise yourself from having meaningful relationships
Neil a covert narc is more complicated than overt because of their quiet introverted and soft approach in their narcissism, we feel sorry for them most of the times, and that’s the trap !!!
No contact is the one and only way to save your soul from a narc. But if you wish to ‘help’ do educate her about covert narcissism, ask her to read on it, get in therapy. It won’t be easy to have a communication with her on it, she will gaslight you, construe incidents leaving you to explain justify and defend yourself. Don’t get into any of it . So be mentally prepared to only educate her about covert narcissism, and cajole her into getting in therapy( you may also join therapy w her ) to help her
Linda as long as you have control over your self and not getting puppetted by the narc, it’s perfectly fine to be your self – even if that means wanting to wish him bday. The warning however is he may suck you back by apologizing / love bombing etc. you don’t want him in your life is CLEARLY visible to him, then it’s good for you
It’s natural for you to feel drained out because they’re your primary guardians. It seems your need for approval is high with them, which you need to detach and build your own self worth/ esteem. It’s your conditioning with them that whatever you do is not good enough and your need to constantly make them happy is taking a toll on you. If your have figured out narcissism in your parents, then take measure like grey rock, detach, and focus on building your life, the way you define it. Go in for therapy if needed and yes keep reading up on how to become emotionally independent. All the best
Yes they are master actors !!!! There’s a non-stop staged inner world of masks/ shadows/ menace they live all the time !!!! One of the red flag to identify that they are manipulating you into believing that they’ve changed is when they hurriedly apologize, even histrionically enact it like getting on their knees/ crying/ groveling/ begging you to give them another chance and they will change!!! A narc’s biggest weakness is inability to say sorry and mean it, they can never be wrong! So one of the ways of catching their manipulation is to ask them in details how are they going to change- make the conversation detailed, preferably recorded / paper pen( accountability) grill them in minute details and see their goody mask peeling off before your eyes!!!! Caught !!!👊🏻
No ! That’s a generalization to be avoided. Being assertive, leader, professionally excellent, economically sound , fearless, etc are notable traits and all successful people have some elements of narcissism. Having narcissistic streaks and having narcissistic disorder are two totally different things. It’s important to take the complete picture, put all the pieces together for a gestalt view on narcissism
Teenage is too early to work out serious / long term relationships so best is focus on meaningful friendships of mutual respect and trust. Invest in friendships of a long term nature without a sense of ownership/ possession of it. Secondly love is blind if you choose to! For two compatible people it’s very important to be similar or somewhat common stuff to talk/ do. Love is more of an idea, a sensation, a hormonal rush and is sustained with practicalities of life
She’s gaslighting ( please read up on net) she’s your ex narc and is her worse vindictive self ( hoovering, flying monkeys- please read) she’s your ex that’s the first step, next is go no contact and block her from all places. Disconnect with common friends ( her friends ) and do not respond to anything. Silence kills the narc
Nope!!!! They have their dark justifications for all that happens to them and what they do to others, irrational, sadistic and warped thinking ! They are empty shells all their lives and most probably 1–2% of borderline narcs go in for therapy, even if it’s for a short period for somewhat patchwork on themselves
I’m studying NPD since it’s part of my work !!! I’m aghast to learn how ill informed people are about NPD!! it’s a disorder least understood, leading to difficulties in relationships and general harmony. All of us deal with atleast one narcissistic person in our lifetime so high time we educate ourselves on it, right ?
Narcissistic fuel is what a narc gets from its supply. It’s like the fuel needed for his car( self) for utility purpose!! There is primary supply,( PS) ( YOU the empath) secondary ( narc’s flying monkeys )and tertiary supply( hello-hi superfluous validation ) when the narc begins to see the primary supply waning in its supply ( the devaluation stage) they begin to latch on new supply. So they draw fuel from the about-to-be-discarded primary supply to the new supply in which the narc is vibrant, happy, glowing yo-factor to the new supply. At this time the PS begins to look drawn,tired, sad, broken, colorless skin because the last bit of fuel from them is being drawn from the narc. At this point the new supply is at the love bombing stage with the narc! So a lot is being drawn out of him which he’s not getting from the near-discard PS. It’s at this stage the narc looks drawn, tired lines, exhausted, deplete, edgy, flustered ! So the narc in order to survive snaps off with the PS( getting no fuel) and latches on the new supply ! And the circle of Hell comes full circle !!!!
- he/she will ONLY focus on what they want from you. Ofcourse with glorious OTT moves!! Charming , over-complimenting etc
- vain, selfie-centric, visually stimulated, like a preened bird!! Too focused on physical appearances
- extreme urgency for real/ virtual sex/ intimacy
- your NO means a YES to them
- No respect for your boundary / what’s comfortable for you/ giving you time to figure out how to take stuff forward etc
- it seems that their ONLY aim in life is to get you and that’s all their life is made of
A narc is full of words words and more words only. Their behavior doesn’t match to their words. Different ways to elude responsibility and accountability they
- excuses ( packed with lies ) lame reasons ( for eg : I didn’t want to drink but my friends forced me to)
- Master procrastinators!! ( for eg. I don’t say I won’t do this, but I’ll do it later, when I want or I was about to do this but forgot / something more urgent came up/ I got lazy). I’ll -do-it-later masters !!!
- False promises to keep the game going. In making a promise the narc hangs his supply on an emotional hook, and enjoys the pain and restlessness of the supply.
- Denial. A narc denies any confrontation to his lack of accountability ( for eg: supply says: you were supposed to help me with my website over the weekend. Narc replies: but I helped with cleaning of the house, didn’t I ?)
- Gaslighting: putting the blame back on to where it came from. For eg. Supply says: I’ve caught you cheating and flirting with other girls. The narc says: I don’t do that. It’s you who is cheating on me and flirting with other guys.
- Poor-me sympathy card: a narc will play this to the hilt . “ I’m so unwell, my stomach all tossed up” “ my boss is wanting to put his pet guy in my place, not fair” “ nobody loves me and I’m so miserable with everything “ “ I don’t have any money because I do so much for friends and save nothing for myself “
Nope it’s not considered that you’re a discard. You’re unblocked everywhere else except FB shows the narc game continues, hoping it’ll baffle you, tick u off a bit, keep you intrigued with what he’s upto on FB. Secondary and tertiary supplies stay within the narcs radar for very long
She must be feeling the same about you( on and off with blocking unblocking ) it’s ok to do that and it’s normal for us to do that. Sometimes we pick up some narc traits living w a narc.
so it’ll help you to set your books in order and not wonder what your narc is upto coz non-narc can do hoovering too!
set your books right means : ask yourself why did you unblock your narc? Be very clear of your route forward. Most prob you’re not yet ready for going no-contact !!! So keep reading up on NPD take counseling and get it clear for yourself your route ahead
all the best
Doesn’t matter if he’s a fraud or narc! What matters in any relationship ( short or long) is give and take of stuff that binds a relationship ( care, respect, companionship, sharing of house work and tasks, helpful etc ) if you had more money than him and you spent on him when he needed it, it’s ok but did he reciprocate in other ways? By being a good partner ? If you feel he’s only receiving all and giving negligible it’s time to exit the relationship and say goodbye with no return
Fastest is the slowest word in the world of a narc, in terms of wiping a smirk off his face. Recount of a primary supply :
“ one of the fastest I’ve wiped off a smirk of my nex’s face is caught him spying on my WhatsApp by syncing it on MY laptop that he used to use in my house. He took his good luck too far😂😂”
Their rage is not because they perceive that you don’t think highly of them…. They ARE THE BEST and that’s the only thing they believe in ! What angers them is YOU are blind to not see that, and HOW DARE you see them in less light because the lesser mortal is YOU the supply😃
Fastest is the slowest word in the world of a narc, in terms of wiping a smirk off his face. Recount of a primary supply :
“ one of the fastest I’ve wiped off a smirk of my nex’s face is caught him spying on my WhatsApp by syncing it on MY laptop that he used to use in my house. He took his good luck too far😂😂”
Their rage is not because they perceive that you don’t think highly of them…. They ARE THE BEST and that’s the only thing they believe in ! What angers them is YOU are blind to not see that, and HOW DARE you see them in less light because the lesser mortal is YOU the supply😃
All narcissistics are emotionally empty / absent. They can ape some mannerisms of ‘ empathy like using phrases like “ I understand “ “ I put myself in your shoes can relate “ however they do not/ can’t because of pathological, brain anolamies / childhood traumas/ genetics
Covert narc parents are passive -aggressive ! They overcompensate or punish !! They can bully, make child co-dependent. Sneering, arguing , making fun by mimicking the child are some of the signs
all kinds of narcissistic disordered parents are bad for children
A narcissist is an empty shell, hollow from inside and needs supply/ fuel to feel ‘ normal’ and ‘ real’. They are always on the hunt for their supply/ supplies ( primary , secondary and tertiary ) the negative behavior that emerges out of their latching on their supply is visible to the supply only, not the narc. The moment the narc has filled up his needs and he begins to see signs of discomfort of the supply ( supply confronts or questions them leading to tension and negativity) the narc quickly starts for replacement of their supply and impending discard/ disengagement
We all fall within the spectrum of narcissism including you and me !! However middle and far end of the spectrum is what we all should be educated and aware of so that we know how to deal with them or cut them off from our life.
also a NPD will almost never admit they have a narcissistic disorder, they lack insight and introspection. So what’s left for us mental health professionals is to salvage the supply / fuel/ victim as and when they are ready to
Narcissism ( disorder ) is genetic and environmental in its spread to the next generation. So a narc parent has a 50% chance of bringing up another narc, which is a sad dismal and helpless place to be in.
the best that other parent do is use the same technique to cope with the narc child, and the most important one is : be emotionally stable ( not high not low) because emotional high and law is what any narc feeds on! Find your ways to be stable- emotionally consistent ( like a robot ) find your support system, do mediation. What I believe is in prayers ( pray to almighty to make your kid normal/ non-narc) at best… prayers have a calming effect, keeps our hope on and helps us to shift our energies
Yes the Sado-masochist type!!! A narc thrives on emotional roller coasters ( self and supply) most narcs self worth is fed by positive attention given by the fuel/ supply so that’s the first criterion for trauma bonding or getting attached to the supply. Negative attention works for the narc as part of high and low emotions but they don’t thrive on negative emotions for too long. They seek the high or positive emotions from supply and if that’s not coming then a narc begins the process of disengagement
Because they actually don’t ! In the initial stage of love bombing the ‘staged care’ is to attach himself to his supply which is mistaken to be love and bonding for the supply. Now the interesting question can be even if it’s staged care and both are very happy then why things go wrong? It’s because after the love bombing stage the narc begins to get his steady supply of adoration, entitlement, control and overall engulf the supply, the narc is helpless with his innate traits like lying, cheating, pleasure seeker, lazy etc, which one day is questioned by the supply after the supply is beginning to deplete her/ his all resources ( time, energy, money, cleaning cooking etc) and then starts the gaslighting , silent treatment, abuse by the narc, a spiraling down of snowball of the weary situation
The discard- get back game continues few times before the narc totally discards the supply. That happens when the reality of his manipulations and deviance is 💯 in the open and there’s zero chance of flipping that. Narcs then don’t come back to their discarded supply, however may random connect just for the thrills or to see if there’s still some ‘ life’ left in the discarded victim, nothing more !
The narc tries all the tricks in their bag- hoovering, love bombing, abuse bond, gaslighting, silent treatment, ghosting and when nothing works and the narc sees the supply slipping away they attach to another supply( even while they are with the current supply ) hops on to his next mis-venture
NPD or BPD don’t have insight into their problem and almost never seek help to get better. If your partner is a narc, there’s nothing you can do except to break the supply he’s getting from you and detach to get your life back. Most narcs are self preserving and immediately hook on to their next supply or victim! Neither understanding nor mean selfish and cruel, leave them to their design
They do the true-false game all the time !! Once their lie is caught the supply is in constant dilemma about true-false trickery! No they don’t share some deep dark personal details / secrets forever! Beware to not divulge your deep details to the narc they will hold it against you in time and rile you forever ! My ex narc is not the biological child of his parents, he his from me, his parents have hidden from him ( he’s 32 years old) so just imagine the morbidity of the situation!!!
CONTACT
Dr. Madhumati Singh, Ph.D.
Practicing since 1991
For appointment, contact:
madhumatis@yahoo.com